


Repeat

by vesperify



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Time Loop, lucky week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8683012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesperify/pseuds/vesperify
Summary: There was a blaring of a car, somewhere from the left. Tyki barely had time to react - to even call out to the other - when he heard a dull thud.
 
[ lucky week - day 7 ]





	

The first time, it had been unbearably hot.

Tyki sighed, smoke blowing out from his mouth. He could feel sweat sliding down his neck, his white dress shirt sticking uncomfortably to his skin. The air was humid, almost oppressive, the drone of cicadas ringing in his ears. There was a soft clink of chains as the swing he sat on gently moved.

“Agh, I really hate the summer, you know!”

Tyki turned to his companion, blinking owlishly at the sudden comment. The red head beside him had his arms stretched high above his head, almost as though he were hoping he could touch the sky. The cat seated on Lavi’s lap mewled in protest, though he didn’t move. To Tyki, the feline looked rather like a ball of fur rather than an actual animal - he was resting his head on his paws, his tail occasionally swatting at the red head.

“It’s too hot! Gramps always has me doing extra work because there’re no classes! Allen’s constantly busy with his jobs! Lenalee’s off doing her volunteering so I never see her and I’m always stuck hanging out with _you_!”

“Ehh? You don’t hate me _that_ much, do you?” Tyki frowned, his cigarette dangling from between his lips. “I thought we were becoming great friends.”

“I only hang out with you because Allen likes you, got it? Because _Allen_ likes you.”

Tyki brought a hand to his chest, feigning hurt. “Lovely, I thought what we had was _special_ ! You can’t seriously tell me all our time together was _meaningless_ …”

Lavi rolled his eye, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. His fingers gently stroked his cat, though the furball’s ears twitched at every touch. One bright eye peeked out from where the creature was curled up, glaring mildly at the red head. The cat looked rather irritated at being touched, despite having a perfectly good lap to perch on.

“I guess you’re not _horrible_ . But I’d still rather be hanging out with Allen. Also, stop calling me ‘lovely’. That’s just _creepy_.”

Tyki conjured up a pout, staring right into Lavi’s eye. “Allen has a cat allergy. You can’t spend time with him _and_ Kanda at the same time.” He skipped over the redhead’s last comment. Lovely was a suitable nickname for the younger man, and Tyki was fond of nicknames in general. Lavi always complained about them, but he’d never made an active attempt to dissuade Tyki from using it, so ‘lovely’ he’d stay.

“Ehh, I suppose you’re right.” Lavi hummed in agreement. He had scooped up the cat in his arms, cradling him as if he were a child. Kanda seemed seconds away from clawing at the exposed skin grasping it, bright eyes flashing dangerously. Tyki honestly couldn’t see why Lavi was so _attached_ to the creature. Kanda was obviously a demon in disguise - he would claw at everything and anything that stood in his path and gave his fair share of scars to his owner, yet Lavi adored the demonic fluffball almost as much as he adored delicate old books.

Lavi suddenly jerked to his feet, the swing’s chains rattling as he stood. Kanda howled in protest, digging his claws into the redhead’s arms. Tyki could do little more than bemusedly stand, one eyebrow raised at his companion.

“I’m bored. Let’s go to your place; I’ll make dinner.”

“What? Why?”

“You’ve got AC. My place is too messy right now.”

“Your place is _always_ messy.” Tyki gingerly plucked his cigarette out from his mouth and dropped it onto the ground. He immediately stepped on it, rocks shifting under his feet as he stamped out the smoke.

Lavi laughed, his arms cradling Kanda. “That’s not a no - c’mon, I’ll make yakiniku!”

Tyki rolled his eyes but smiled anyways. Together, the pair made their way out of the park. Lavi was making gestures, describing some great battle or another he’d read in a history book. He made sounds, mimicking, with one hand, the slashing of swords while they walked, the other hand carefully carrying Kanda. Tyki could barely keep up with the redhead’s litany of words, but he liked watching Lavi’s passion for history. There was something enchanting about his enthusiasm that always managed to make Tyki smile, even if he couldn’t understand most of what Lavi said.

Then Kanda jumped out from Lavi’s arms.

“Hey, Kanda! Oi! Don’t run off like that!”

Lavi chased after the cat, but Kanda was too agile. The monster (because Tyki was absolutely _convinced_ the cat was a monster) ran out onto the street, paws carrying a sleek body onto the black pavement.

Lavi followed.

There was a blaring of a car, somewhere from the left. Tyki barely had time to react - to even call out to the other - when he heard a dull thud.

Suddenly, it was like the cicadas were screaming _._ The buzzing noise filled his head, pushing out his thoughts, pushing out his feelings. He was numb, his body stone, his stomach heavy as lead; he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, and he felt almost as though he were drowning. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think - there was something on his face, something liquid, something _burning_ through his skin as it dripped down his face.

There was something green in his vision - something green, something pale, and something red, red, _red, oh God there was so much red--!_

* * *

Tyki woke up with tear tracks staining his face and a scream itching to leave his mouth. 

* * *

Tyki was in love with Lavi.

He had been for quite a while.

Allen had been the one to introduce them - Tyki had been pestering the white-haired boy over something or another when Lavi had literally barrelled into them, sweeping Allen into a bone-crushing hug.

“Allen! I missed you - I gotta tell you this cute thing Kanda did-”

“Oh, no, Lavi, stop, I do _not_ need to hear another cat story-”

“But Kanda’s the cutest cat in the world!”

“No. No - Lavi, your cat is a fucking _demon_ , he’s _evil_.”

“Kanda’s a perfect _angel_ -”

“He’s given you at least thirty scars just from _picking him up-_ ”

“He’s a little emotionally constipated-”

“Can cat’s even _reach_ that degree of emotional complexity?” Tyki had blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Honestly, he’d still been a little stunned at the appearance of the red head. Honestly, attractive people weren’t hard to find, but there had been something _electric_ about this stranger, something that had goosebumps rising on his arms and his stomach rolling in anxiety or excitement. Whatever it was, it had been enough to spark Tyki’s interest, starting a flame burning somewhere inside him.

“... Oi, Allen, who’s this?” Lavi had narrowed his eyes, his arms tightening ever so slightly around his white-haired friend.

“Lavi, this is-’ Allen had paused, trying to think of a proper descriptor for Tyki. “... He’s, uhm, a friend of mine…? Road’s uncle…?”

Tyki had smiled at Allen’s fumbling - the kid was seriously adorable, and he could understand why Mana, Nea, and Cross were all so protective of him - and had smoothly stepped closer to the pair, one hand extended towards the red head. As soon as Lavi had grasped the appendage, Tyki had gently kissed it, eyes glued to the stranger.

Lavi hadn’t looked particularly pleased, though there’d been a delicate pink splattered on his cheeks.

“Tyki Mikk. It’s a pleasure to meet such a lovely young man, such as yourself.”

“Lavi Bookman. Pleasure to meet’cha too, I guess…”

* * *

The second time, the sun was so bright, he thought it would blind him.

Tyki was hit by a wave of deja vu, as though he’d been in this very park, in this very heat. And there, on a swing, sat a certain redhead with his demon cat perched sleepily on his lap. Tyki bit down on his cigarette, a sudden wave of anxiety tearing into him.

But then he saw a singular bright green eye, and his feet moved without his permission.

He padded towards his friend - or his friend of a friend? The object of his infatuation? - and plopped down on the swing beside him, deeply inhaling a breath of smoke.

“Aw, c’mon, that’s disgusting. Smoking’s gonna kill you one day!” The whine hit his ears, but somehow it felt distant, far away, as though there was some muffled wall between them. Tyki looked over to Lavi, then shrugged and dropped his cigarette to the ground.

Lavi raised a singular eyebrow, his eye shining with confusion.

“What?” Tyki felt unnerved by that stare, his foot stamping down on the cigarette. The sound of rocks crunching under his feet was distinctively familiar, as though he’d done this a million times before.

But he had, hadn’t he? Lavi loved this particular park. They came here so often, so he’d surely done this before, right?

“No, nothing, that was just… a surprising response, I suppose.” Lavi averted his gaze, choosing to stare up at the sky instead. The redhead absentmindedly pet his cat, Kanda’s black fur shimmering at every stroke. Tyki couldn’t look away, trying to memorize every feature, every line of the man beside him.

He just couldn’t quite understand why he felt so much dread.

“Hey, it’s pretty hot. You wanna go for some ice cream?” Tyki asked, his voice surprisingly soft. He hadn’t meant to ask, but his voice had slipped out without him knowing. His heart was hammering, anxiety threatening to tear him apart.

“...Tyki, are you alright?” Lavi looked back at Tyki, concern leaking into his eyes. His brow furrowed, his lips starting to turn downwards; Tyki forced a smile onto his face, his uneasiness spreading inside him.

“It’s nothing, lovely. I’m fine. Just a little hot.” Tyki got to his feet and, on a sudden impulse, scooped Kanda up from Lavi’s lap. The cat immediately howled and scratched at Tyki’s arms, noisily protesting. Tyki merely tightened his arms around him, making sure the cat was securely trapped.

Lavi frowned, pausing for a moment as he observed the scene in front of him. After a moment, he nodded. Tyki breathed a sigh of relief. It was obvious Lavi saw through his lie, but he was letting the topic go. “I don’t think he likes that.” Lavi then whipped out his phone. His fingers fiddled around, doing something that Tyki couldn’t see. Then the redhead angled his phone up, a soft _click_ indicated he’d taken a picture. Kanda seemed to respond by screaming _louder_ , a feat Tyki hadn’t thought possible.

“Honestly, I don’t think he likes me in general. Actually, I don’t think Kanda is capable of liking anyone.”

“Not true! He loves Alma.”

“Alma? Who’s that?” Lavi immediately clamped his mouth shut, his eye dimming until there was nothing left in his gaze - no emotion, no warmth, nothing. Empty. Tyki shivered, stepping towards the park entrance. “Never mind, let’s just go get ice cream.”

Together, they walked down the street, Kanda occasionally squirming in Tyki’s grasp. This time, they walked in silence, the air heavy with awkwardness. Tyki had no idea who Alma was, but whoever it was had been enough to completely shut down Lavi. Maybe he was a past boyfriend? An old friend?

Kanda struggled in Tyki’s hold, almost desperately trying to escape. Tyki had absolutely no intentions of letting the feline go - somehow, he felt his anxiety spike whenever he thought about the cat escaping his grip, so he’d tighten his arms whenever he felt Kanda gained a bit of freedom.

“I think you’re going to traumatize my cat.”

“I think Kanda’s already seen some terrible shit, lovely. I’m sure I couldn’t traumatize him anymore. Your cat’s already disturbed.”

“Is not! Kanda’s perfect.”

“No. Seriously. I think he’s-”

“Tyki, watch out!”

Tyki felt a sudden shove at his shoulder, pushing him backward. He stumbled, his back hitting a wall. Distantly, he noticed that he was sliding down the wall, his legs unable to support him. He let go, his arms limply sliding down, the back of his hands hitting the pavement.

There were people shouting somewhere, something about emergencies and paramedics, but that couldn’t help him. There was a crowd, and a scream, loud and piercing and full of terror.

Because there, on the ground, laid Lavi. There was a metal beam piercing through his chest, bright red blood pooling around the younger man’s body. His single green eye staring right at Tyki, skin paler than a porcelain doll and limbs as still as stone.

There was a sharp ache in Tyki’s throat, and distantly he noticed that the person screaming must have been him. He couldn’t look away from Lavi’s sightless gaze, rooted in place as the person he loved laid bleeding out, pale as porcelain, eyes dimming-

‘ _Not again, not again, please, anything but-_ ’

But he’d seen Lavi smile, just as the metal pierced his flesh.

* * *

Lavi always acted like a loud person, but he was surprisingly gentle and mature when they were alone.

Of course, the redhead still cracked jokes. He still pouted like a child, whined at certain instances and reacted overdramatically when something special happened. But when they were alone, with no overbearing grandfather watching his every move, and no friends to put up pretenses with, he was almost _sweet_.

Maybe that’s what made Tyki fall in love with him.

* * *

He didn’t bother going out the tenth time. 

When Tyki woke up, he felt so much anxiety that it threatened to tear him apart. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling until his alarm went off, his phone vibrating on top of the table. He lethargically groped for the object, nearly missing it. Somehow, he managed to bring the device to his face, fingers dialing a number before he could stop to think about it.

After two rings, the call finally went through. “Tyki? What’s up?”

“Hey, lovely… why don’t you just come over to my place for the day?”

“What? I thought we were meeting up at the park-”

“It’s too hot and I know you hate the heat. Just come over, we’ll play some video games or whatever you do with Allen.”

“Uhm- you, and video games? Tyki, are you alright? You don’t sound so good.” Tyki could hear the concern in Lavi’s voice, the younger man’s worry bleeding through. He felt sick to his stomach, his fingers shaking ever so slightly as he grasped his phone.

“... I’m fine, darling. Just come here safely, alright? We can eat ice cream and you can whoop my ass at Mario Kart. ”

“... Alright. See you in a couple of hours.”

It took at least an hour for Tyki to finally roll out of his bed, limbs heavy with worry. His fingers shook so much he could barely dress himself. Black socks, black slacks, casual white dress shirt; hair brushed and pulled away from his face, teeth brushed, caffeine consumed, tasteless food consumed-

The sound of his phone ringing somehow managed to pierce through his haze, jolting Tyki into sudden awareness. He scrambled for the device, seeing Allen’s name pop across the screen. Furrowing his brow in confusion, he answered the call.

And was met with silence.

“Boy, what did you want?”

Another beat, and then a sharp inhale, shaky and tentative. “Tyki? …Tyki, I’m sorry. I know how much you liked him… But Lavi, on the way out, he-”

The phone slipped out from his fingers, a vision of red blood splattering across his vision. Distantly, he could hear Allen calling for him, but what did it matter?

He already knew.

Lavi was dead.

* * *

Lavi had a lovely left eye.

Tyki didn’t know the story behind the eyepatch. Anytime someone asked, Lavi would make up an absurd story. Sometimes he’d say it was a tragic pencil accident, other times he’d describe a great adventure from when his grandfather and he were traveling the world. One memorable story was told while he and Tyki sat under a great oak tree, the wind whistling around them gently.

“Did you write down the notes from the drama lecture, lovely?” Tyki knew the redhead had - even if he hadn’t, his memory was impeccable, so he was the easiest person to go to if Tyki missed a class. Road had been particularly bothersome that morning, whining and crying, so Tyki had stayed home to make sure his niece could calm down.

“Would you stop with the nickname? I’m not that lovely. I have an _eyepatch_ . I’ve only got _one_ eye. I’m not lovely.”

“Regardless, I still think you’re lovely, with or without a second eye.” Tyki replied, no hesitation in his voice. A faint blush rose to Lavi’s face, dusting his cheeks with a pale pink. Honestly, it’d been too adorable for words, so Tyki could only smirk.

“Well, the way I lost it definitely wasn’t ‘lovely!’”

“Yeah? How’d you lose it?” Tyki wasn’t expecting a legitimate response - he’d been friends with the redhead for long enough to know that Lavi wouldn’t give him a real reply. The boy had walls around his walls, preventing anyone from slipping in too close.

Still, Tyki liked to pretend he’d seen the real Lavi, if only a bit.

“Okay, so when I was little, I was exploring somewhere in the east of Wales - you know, Wales, the country with the really interesting language - and the sun was shining so brightly that I could barely see. Still, I took shelter in a cave, but then a dragon appeared! Apparently, I’d been intruding on his home, and so he had to take a ‘treasure’ of mine or else I’d be eaten alive! So I offered up my eye and he took it and that’s how I lost my eye.”

Tyki huffed a laugh, his right hand reaching out to brush against Lavi’s face. The redhead immediately tensed up, his smile slipping a bit. Tyki said nothing, staring at the one eye that Lavi had, his fingers stroking the younger man’s cheekbones.

Lavi’s remaining eye was a beautiful, brilliant shade of green.

It was the most beautiful colour in existence.

* * *

Fifteen times passed.

It still hurt just as much as the first.

* * *

Lavi’s hands were gentle, calloused as they were from hours of writing and categorizing records. They were smaller than Tyki’s, colour a bit darker, always a bit warmer - that was the biggest mystery. For someone who claimed to be made of ice, Lavi’s hands were always warm. Comforting.

Tyki liked to watch as they wrote, liked to see how Lavi’s fingers never tired of their burden, never seemed to ache. He liked feeling them in his own, the few times he could teasingly catch them in his own. He liked kissing them, even though Lavi always managed to freak out at his teasing. He liked holding them in his own, the one time he’d gotten to hold them.

He couldn’t imagine those warm hands ever going cold.

* * *

Thirty times.

There was banging on his door, a boisterous voice calling to him through the wood.

“Oi, Tyki, c’mon! I wanna go to the park!” He could hear Lavi’s voice through the door, the younger man insistent in his pounding. Tyki refused to move, one hand clutching at his phone. He didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to face the redhead, didn’t want-

“Tyki, I know you’re in there! Is something wrong? Are you hurt?” Tyki flinched, curling in on himself a little more. He didn’t want Lavi to die again, didn’t think he could take it if-

“Tyki, I’m-”

A scream.

Tyki jolted up from his bed, legs tangling in his blanket as he desperately tried to get out of his room. He ripped his door open, hands reaching for the balcony rail and-

And there.

In the middle of a bright red puddle, body twisted awkwardly, lay Lavi.

There was a smile on this corpse, too.

* * *

Sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety…

What did it matter?

* * *

The hundredth time came and went.

Tyki ran, his hand holding tightly to Lavi’s. He dragged the red head across town, the other man yelling profanities. Lavi’s hand was warm in his, fingers entwined and locked together.

This time-

This time for sure- !!

“Tyki, what the fuck is wrong with you? Where are we going-”

There was a sudden weight pulling Tyki back. Lavi’s fingers were wretched away from his own and he turned, only to feel a splatter of blood spray his face. He watched in disbelief as Lavi fell, his body like a puppet without strings. There was a man waving a gun, screaming about wallets or money or-

Tyki knelt down, hands reaching towards the younger man, gently cupping the redhead’s face. Already, that one green eye was unseeing, blood dripping from his nose, his mouth, his eyes-

Tyki cried as he cradled Lavi’s head.

Almost as though he could somehow stop the bleeding, somehow save this person-

* * *

He loved. He loved. He loved.

 

He loved so much, it overwhelmed him.

* * *

There were too many times to count.

And every time - every single time - he couldn’t save Lavi.

* * *

He loved Lavi’s smile the most.

Not the fake one he usually forced onto his face, but the gentle one. The soft one. The one he had when he stroked Kanda’s fur, or when he held a particularly good book. The one he saved for Tyki when they were alone, just the two of them; the one he had when they sat down on a couch to read together, always close but never touching, so close, yet so far.

Never once, in all the repeating days, did he see that smile.

* * *

Something had to change.

* * *

Kanda ran out from Lavi’s arms, dashing onto the street. Lavi made to follow his cat, yelling for Kanda to stop when Tyki grabbed his wrist. The redhead jerked backwards, his single eye (beautiful, so beautiful) looking to his older friend. 

“Tyki, what are you doing? I’ve got to go get Kan-”

Tyki leaned in, pressing his lips gently against Lavi’s. He felt the redhead tense, his entire body going still. Tyki paid no heed, his eyes fluttering shut as he kissed the man he loved. For the first time in an eternity, he felt at peace, the anxiety in his finally unravelling as he understood what he _needed_ to do. What he _had_ to do.

Anything to save this person.

He slowly drew away, a gentle smile on face. His free hand came up to cup Lavi’s cheek. “Hey, I hope we meet again.”

“Tyki, what the hell are you talking about? Ty- TYKI!”

Tyki pulled Lavi away from the street, using his own momentum to propel him into the path of an oncoming truck.

Distantly, he could feel pain spreading into his body, drowning him in a wave. He couldn’t feel - could barely think - but he still managed to smile, finally at peace.

Lavi was screaming, his face contorted in horror, but that wasn’t right. Lavi should be smiling. Lavi was like the sun - bright, pure, and stronger than he’d ever get to see.

Tyki closed his eyes as he fell.

* * *

“...It seems like I failed again.”

Kanda said nothing. His dark eyes stared at the redhead, waiting to hear the same words slip past his lips, as they had over and over before.

“Shall we try again?”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> Beta'd by [lavi](papalavi.tumblr.com) and [rumy](thesafesthands.tumblr.com), who are both my heroes!


End file.
